I know many of you are wondering how you can show support for Cate Withrow’s family, friends, colleagues, and students after the recent crash that took her life. I’ve been in touch with the family and have compiled the following resources. I’ve also provided some mental health resources and tips on how to talk to Cate’s friends and family after her passing- say her name, share a memory. More tips are below.
- Cate’s Obituary
- Cate Withrow Foundation for Education
Having been both a student and an educator in Poudre School District, Cate believed that one person who believes in you can change the trajectory of your life. She worked every day to be that person for her students. As a teacher and coach, she built lasting relationships with young people, challenging them to grow, believe in themselves, and reach beyond what they thought possible.To honor Cate’s life and continue the work she cared so deeply about, our family is establishing the Cate Withrow Foundation for Education, a fund of the NoCo Foundation
- Meal Train
For those local to Fort Collins, offering a lunch or dinner is greatly appreciated as her family begins to adjust to Cate’s absence in the kitchen.
- Memorial
Cate’s memorial will be Saturday, August 1st, at 10 am in the Main Ballroom of the Lory Student Center. 1101 Center Ave Mall, Fort Collins, CO 80523
- Memorial Ride
Community members are working on a memorial ride for Cate. Details to follow.
- Mental Health Resources.
PSD staff are encouraged to reach out to Employee Assistance Services.
Students can reach out to counselors once school resumes
Community members and students are also encouraged to use the following local resources. -
Longview Behavioral Health Urgent Care
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Phone: 970-494-4200
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I Matter Colorado (Up to six free, virtual counseling sessions)
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Website: imattercolorado.org
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Child, Adolescent and Young Adult Connections (CAYAC)
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Phone: 970-221-3308
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Connections – Adult Services
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Phone: 970-221-5551
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988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (24/7 free, confidential support)
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Phone/Text: 988
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Website: 988lifeline.org
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Say Cate’s Name
One of the most common experiences people report after a loss is that everyone seems to avoid mentioning their loved one because they’re afraid of making them sad. The reality is that they’re already thinking about that person. Hearing their name often communicates, “They mattered, and I remember them too.”
Here are a few things that tend to help:
- Say Cate’s name. “I’ve been thinking about Cate all week.” or “Rick, I’ve been thinking about Cate and your girls.”
- Share a specific memory. Instead of saying, “She was a great person,” try something concrete: “I’ll always remember how encouraging Cate was in he classroom” or “She always had a smile and made people feel welcome.”
- Listen more than you talk. Let them decide whether they want to share stories, cry, sit in silence, or change the subject.
- Don’t feel like you have to fix anything. There isn’t anything you can say that will take away their grief. Your presence is often more meaningful than your words.
- Acknowledge the loss directly. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is.” is usually better than trying to explain why it happened.
- Offer specific help. Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try “Can I bring dinner over Thursday?” or “I’d be happy to pick up groceries or watch the kids.”
Things to avoid:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “At least…” statements (“At least she didn’t suffer.”)
- Comparing their loss to someone else’s.
- Feeling like you have to keep the conversation positive.
It’s also okay if the conversation includes moments of silence. You don’t have to fill every pause.
If you’re worried about bringing up memories
Many people fear that mentioning the deceased will “remind” the grieving person of their loss. That’s almost never the case. They haven’t forgotten. More often, hearing someone else say their loved one’s name lets them know that others remember them too.
You might say something like:
- “I’ve been thinking about Cate a lot this week. I keep remembering how kind she was.”
- “I remember seeing Cate cheering people on. She had such a positive energy.”
- “I’d love to hear more stories about Cate if you ever feel like talking.”
One thing that matters over time
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Many people receive lots of support in the first week or two, then hear very little afterward. Reaching out a month later, on birthdays, anniversaries, or around the holidays with a simple message like, “Thinking of Cate today,” can mean a great deal.
